Here at Glenn Clark Radio, we always reflect on the Baltimore Ravens game in a more jovial manner.  In retrospect, we like to choose five players on the team who — depending on the outcome of the game — deserve a Pat On The Ass or Slap To The Helmet.

The rules are simple: pick two players on defense, two players on offense, and one “wild card” (an offensive player, defensive player, special teamer or coach) who stuck out from the pack.

With no Ravens game this week, we decided to hand out both our Pats and our Slaps for the “first half” of the season.

They will count down in sequential order before we name the ultimate prize — Two Pats to the Ass and Two Slaps to the Helmet.  That one player who one single Slap just wouldn’t sit right.

Without further ado:

Glenn’s Pats on the Ass, First Half:

5. DL Calais Campbell

He’s been just about the most consistent player on this defense, which is particularly remarkable considering he’s 35. 

4. EDGE Odafe Oweh

While not as consistent, his spectacular moments have been total game-changers for this team. 

3. K Justin Tucker

He’s Justin Tucker. Perhaps you’ve heard of him. 

2. TE Mark Andrews

There is a serious argument to be made that he is the best tight end in the NFL this year. 

1. QB Lamar Jackson (two pats)

I mean, honestly, who else? He’s been a legitimate MVP candidate again. 

Glenn’s Slaps to the Helmet, First Half:

5. QB Lamar Jackson

That said, he’s also struggled a bit in their losses. Our expectations are through the roof. When he doesn’t live up to them, we notice it. 

4. Defensive Coordinator Wink Martindale

It just feels like this defense lacks anything in the way of an identity and you can absolutely fault the scheme in the loss to the Bengals in particular. 

3. CB Marlon Humphrey

Allow me to allow my friend Jeff Zrebiec to explain. From The Athletic…

“According to Pro Football Focus numbers, Humphrey has allowed 17 catches for 328 yards and three touchdowns as an outside corner. In the slot, he’s given up seven catches for 94 yards and a score. We’re only seven games in and it’s tough to draw any grand conclusions. Humphrey, though, would be the first to acknowledge that he hasn’t played as well as he’s capable of playing.”

2. OT Alejandro Villanueva

I get that it’s tough to have significant expectations for Villanueva but he was truly a problem in the Bengals loss and a disaster in the Raiders loss. 

1. LB Patrick Queen (two slaps)

Spare me the “he’s graded better the last couple of weeks” stuff. He’s not even on the field for 50 percent of their snaps. That’s a massive problem for a first round pick a year ago. 

Paul Valle’s Pats on the Ass, First half:

5. Odafe Oweh

Heading into the bye, he had the most QB pressures of any rookie in football. He has three sacks in his rookie season after having none in his final season at Penn State. He still has a lot of refining to do, but Oweh has made plays this season that have absolutely had a direct impact on wins.

4. Hollywood Brown

Sure, he’s had some big drops this season, but heading into the bye he was top 10 in the NFL in receiving yards and receiving touchdowns. Perhaps most impressive is his fighting for extra yardage this season, something he struggled mightily with his first two seasons. Brown has become the receiver the Ravens envisioned with they drafted him 25th overall in 2019.

3. Lamar Jackson

Not one QB in the NFL, maybe not one player in the NFL, means more to his team. Lamar has been Superman at times this season. Sometimes he still struggles to hold onto the football, and sometimes he misses his receivers. But when the game is on the line, the man steps up time and time again.

2. Mark Andrews

He got a huge contract extension this past offseason, and all he’s done is go out and play like the best tight end in football. Apologies to Travis Kelce, but no TE is playing better than Mark Andrews.

1. Anthony Averett

Wink Martindale made a bold statement at the beginning of training camp that Averett was the third best corner on the team and has All-Pro potential. That’s pretty high praise when you consider the two guys in front of are in fact All-Pro corners (Peters and Marlon Humphrey). Peters then tore his ACL, ending his season before it started, and Averett was thrust into that role. Aside from a hiccup against the Colts, he has been better than even Wink could have predicted, all while being one of the most targeted corners in football and has, IMO, outplayed Humphrey. 

Paul Valle’s Slaps to the Helmet, First Half:

5.  Alejandro Villanueva

I get that he’s no spring chicken, he’s learning a new system, and he was brought in to play right tackle and is now playing left tackle. But left tackle has always been his position, and aside from the Kansas City game, he’s been a turnstile this season.

4.  Patrick Queen

He has been better the last two weeks, but for most of the season he’s been fast and not much else. He gets pushed off the line, he doesn’t shed blocks, doesn’t break down to tackle, and seems to only want to tackle with his shoulders. For a first round draft pick, I expected him to be so much better. We all did.

3.   Ty’son Williams

He earned a chance in training camp by showing burst and tenacity. But in the regular season, he runs timid, doesn’t block, doesn’t fight for extra yards, and at times has had trouble holding onto the football. I understand he was undrafted and a practice squad player last year, but this was a golden opportunity for him and he’s squandered it.

2. Justin Houston

Two sacks in seven games is not what this man was brought in to do. In the first half against Cincinnati, I felt like he was finally rounding into form, and then he totally disappeared in the second half. Like Villanueva, he’s no spring chicken, but the Ravens will need him to be Justin Houston the rest of this season if they hope to make a run into the playoffs.

1. Marlon Humphrey

He’s the second highest paid corner in the league yet he hasn’t even been the best corner on his own team this season, and that’s with Marcus Peters having not played a single snap. Perhaps he’s trying to take on too much. I know one thing, the fruit punch isn’t working this year, and he’s giving up massive yards while trying to make that happen. I fully expect him to get back to be a lockdown corner in the second half of the season. The Ravens need him to be.

To listen to the segment in its entirety, press play below.

Paul Valle

Listen to Glenn Clark Radio live Monday-Friday from 10 a.m. to noon. Follow Glenn Clark Radio on Twitter at @GlennClarkRadio.