Here at Glenn Clark Radio, we always reflect on the Baltimore Ravens game in a more jovial manner.  In retrospect, we like to choose five players on the team who — depending on the outcome of the game — deserve a Pat On The Ass or Slap To The Helmet.

The rules are simple: pick two players on defense, two players on offense, and one “wild card” (an offensive player, defensive player, special teamer or coach) who stuck out from the pack.

The Ravens, despite arguably the worst performance of Lamar Jackson’s career, pulled out a divisional win over the Browns to take over the top spot in the AFC, so Glenn and Paul have some Pat’s on the Ass to hand out.

They will count down in sequential order before we name the ultimate prize — Two Pats on the Ass.  That one player who one slap just wouldn’t isn’t enough.

Without further ado:

Glenn’s Pats on the Ass:

5. WR Marquise “Hollywood” Brown 

It was hard to choose a second offensive player last night. I get that. But Hollywood Brown was quite reliable-when the ball was thrown his way, he caught it. He wasn’t explosive but he was reliable. 

4. DT Brandon Williams

It is strikingly strange how we have such overwhelming evidence about how much better the Ravens are against the run when they have Brandon Williams vs. when they don’t and yet many of us still tend to say bad things about Brandon Williams. And by “us,” I mean “you.” Because it sure as hell ain’t “me.”

3. TE Mark Andrews

Clearly he was the best offensive player on the field last night and bailed out Lamar Jackson’s on perhaps Lamar’s worst night as a pro. 

2. LB Tyus Bowser

This guy is unreal. He was disruptive from start to finish with three quarterback hits and is starting to get the love nationally that he has earned. 

1. LB Patrick Queen (two pats)

All over the place from start to finish. By far the best game of his career and his in-season turnaround is one of the better stories in recent Ravens memory. 


Paul Valle’s Pats on the Ass

5. Hollywood Brown 

We had to pick two offensive players.  Brown had 8 catches and helped the Ravens run some clock. 

4. Patrick Queen

Man, he was good last night. Really good. He still missed two big tackles, one resulting in an injury, but he showed speed, quickness, and instinct, especially on the second play of the game when he blasted into the backfield to stop a Nick Chubb run before it even started

3. Justin Tucker

We had another game where an opposing kicker missed a FG. Meanwhile, Tucker is just drilling 50+ yarders right down the middle like it’s nothing. Best kicker in history, and we are incredibly spoiled.

2. Tyus Bowser 

A sack, a forced fumble, three QB hits, and excellent coverage against the pass. He is becoming the Ravens best all-around defensive player. 

1. Mark Andrews (two pats)

He was open all night, even if Lamar didn’t see him, and he made some big catches in the second half, including the lone TD for the team. His one-handed 39 yd grab that was also called DPI on the field was a game changer. He is arguably the best TE in football right now.

To listen to the segment in its entirety, press play below.

Paul Valle

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