Here at Glenn Clark Radio, we always reflect on the Baltimore Ravens game in a more jovial manner.  In retrospect, we like to choose five players on the team who — depending on the outcome of the game — deserve a Pat On The Ass or Slap To The Helmet.

The rules are simple: pick two players on defense, two players on offense, and one “wild card” (an offensive player, defensive player, special teamer or coach) who stuck out from the pack.

As you all are surely aware, the Ravens’ handled the Bengals with little resistance in Week 5, and as a result, we have some Ass Pats to hand out.

They will count down in sequential order before we name the ultimate prize — Two Pats on the Ass.  That one player who one single Pat just wouldn’t sit right.

Without further ado:

Glenn’s Pats on the Ass, Week 5:

5. WR Hollywood Brown

I don’t care for how much the Ravens are throwing the ball but I do care for how reliable Brown is proving to be. 

4. LB Pernell McPhee

It absolutely helps that the Bengals’ Offensive Line is terrible and allowed the Ravens to get after Joe Burrow from the start of the game. But you can only play against the Offensive Line you play against and McPhee was dominant. 

3. TE Mark Andrews

We hope he plays a little better against the Chiefs next time. In the meantime, he’s fine. Clearly.

2. LB Patrick Queen

I realize everyone else will probably have him as their number one for the week. He was incredible. He was all over the place. There’s so much to like about Patrick Queen. 

1. CB Marlon Humphrey (two pats)

The thing is, I genuinely believe he was the best football player on the field yesterday. I genuinely believe he’s the most special defensive player on the team. I genuinely see a player who isn’t just a great coverage corner, he’s one of the truly greatest defenders in the league. 

Kyle’s Pats on the Ass, Week 5:

5. Marquise Brown

I am not in love with the reliance on Brown in the passing game, as we all are a bit perplexed by the volume we’ve been seeing. That said, it’s impossible to imagine what this offense would look like without him.

4. Marcus Peters

He recorded a sack and had an interception, therefore, it feels unfair to keep him off the list despite there being no real, ‘Wow,” plays.

3. Mark Andrews

He remains the safety blanket for Lamar Jackson. When they need a completion, Mark is the guy.

2. Patrick Queen

You have to be encouraged by how active he is all over the field. While he still has work to do in coverage to be the three-down, stud linebacker he was drafted to be, he is checking the other boxes.

1. Marlon Humphrey

One of the most impressive defensive plays I’ve ever seen. It also perfectly encapsulates a player who can both be so reliable and consistent as to wrap up a player, yet also have the wherewithal and playmaking prowess to punch the ball out while doing so.

If you missed the segment, click play below to listen.

Kyle Ottenheimer

Listen to Glenn Clark Radio live Monday-Friday from 10 a.m. to noon. Follow Glenn Clark Radio on Twitter at @GlennClarkRadio.