Here at Glenn Clark Radio, we always reflect on the Baltimore Ravens game in a more jovial manner.  In retrospect, we like to choose five players on the team who — depending on the outcome of the game — deserve a Pat On The Ass or Slap To The Helmet.

The rules are simple: pick two players on defense, two players on offense, and one “wild card” (an offensive player, defensive player, special teamer or coach) who stuck out from the pack.

As you all are surely aware, the Ravens’ dominated the Browns in Week 1, and as a result, we have some Ass Pats to hand out.

They will count down in sequential order before we name the ultimate prize — Two Pats on the Ass.  That one player who one single Pat just wouldn’t sit right.

Without further ado:

Glenn’s Pats on the Ass, Week 1:

5. LB Tyus Bowser

Perhaps the most encouraging thing yesterday (other than the result-but that was expected) was Bowser’s impact. With Matthew Judon’s future in the air and the Ravens not having a lot of significant pass rush depth on the roster, that was an extremely hopeful sign. 

4. DL Calais Campbell

The word we kept saying regarding Campbell when the Ravens acquired him was “disruptor.” And disrupt he did. The Ravens have been very effective in terms of batting balls down at the line in recent years and may have somehow gotten even better in that department. 

3. TE Mark Andrews

He catches balls when he’s covered. He catches balls when he’s uncovered and they’re not thrown particularly well. He just catches balls. He’s a stud.

2. Head Coach John Harbaugh

I absolutely HATE to leave Hollywood Brown off the list because he was great. But man, I just think John Harbaugh deserves a lot of credit for giving his players the freedom to be themselves and to trust them and have their backs. It has paid off big time. 

1. QB Lamar Jackson (two pats)

I’m starting to think that you might be able to make an argument that he might work out.

Kyle’s Pats on the Ass, Week 1:

5. Tyus Bowser

This is a position that, while Martindale and Co. might be able to overcome deficiencies via scheme, could greatly improve the overall roster if someone can carve out a role for themselves. In a one-week sample, Bowser did that.

4. Patrick Queen

In his first taste of NFL action, while he had a few miscues to start the game, Queen showed his athleticism and blitzing prowess and provided a glimpse of things to come. Given the offseason and lack of preparation time, that’s worthy of praise.

3. Hollywood Brown

I will continue to maintain there has never been a wide receiver in Ravens history as fast, quick and hard to cover man-to-man as Hollywood Brown.

2. Mark Andrews

When Terrell Suggs said that thing about the white tight end being like a credit card? I don’t think he even foresaw how valuable Andrews could become.

1. Lamar Jackson

He spread the ball all over the field accurately and efficiently. Aside from a couple questionable throws, there was really not much to criticize and hopefully it represents further growth in the passing department.

If you missed the segment, click play below to listen.

Kyle Ottenheimer

Listen to Glenn Clark Radio live Monday-Friday from 10 a.m. to noon. Follow Glenn Clark Radio on Twitter at @GlennClarkRadio.